During our lives we all have times when everything is clicking. Many times our youth provides us a false sense of security. Newly married. College acceptance. Meet the right person. Health is awesome. Junk food…. what’s that??!!
College graduation. Land the perfect job. You marry that perfect someone. You are a believer. You attend a church. You grow in your faith. Your first child. She sleeps through the night! God is good.
Some of us come to faith as adults in our 30’s or later. Our conversion is real. The things we were ashamed of are now forgiven by God. We’re clean and so is our slate. Our kids love church. We see changes in them. Our marriage is strong. Our bills are paid. Work is paying off after many years. Maybe even a Grandchild.
Maybe you’re single. You’re content. You date when you can. You’re busy with your job. You’re involved very much in your church. Not many expenses so you have money in the bank and you can afford to help people out when necessary. Health is strong. God is real.
What so many of those people above (maybe you) didn’t realize was it was only Monday and Friday’s coming. When Friday does arrive and nobody has prepared us things can fall apart pretty quickly. For so many their Friday came when they were still quite young and innocent. They had no chance to prepare. They suffered, as did many of the others.
Near our front door is a beam that runs at an angle up to the roof. If you happen to be in the little garden area where it’s located you want to be aware of its presence. So many times I’ve been in that garden area busy with something and as I’m walking out…. BAM!! My mind was wandering and I never saw the beam and when we made contact I lost each time. If I had only seen it coming….
These beams are going to be a part of our lives and with most of us they have already paid a visit. They come in many disguises. A broken arm that ends our little league season. The guy or girl who dumps us right before senior prom. A tragic accident that takes a loved one. Any number of serious illnesses. A lost job or worse yet, a lost home. A wayward child. Rape. Violent crimes. Betrayal. And for folks like me, mental illness.
Besides mental illness how many of the above do others blame us for? None, in most every case. Makes you feel kind of special doesn’t it. (Sarcasm intended.)
Outside of a sovereign move of God there are no quick fixes for any of the above. Having perfected the art I know the life of one in search of the quick fix.
A famous faith healer comes to town. Your friend has cancer. They attend the service and see scores of apparent miracles taking place on stage. Yet they don’t get called forward. Why not me they think as the spiral begins.
As young believers my wife and I attended one of these events in 1977. My wife had rheumatoid arthritis. Friends asked us to go. My wife went forward and was prayed over. We thought she was healed. The next month my father went. He had emphysema. He thought he was healed.
My father died 13 years ago from emphysema. My wife still has rheumatoid arthritis some 32 years later. They were conned plain and simple. Think of the multitudes who have experienced the same. Your faith can be crushed.
My quick fixes were many and at times a bit bizarre. The first was to buy all of the self help books I could and look for the steps to follow so I could be rid of something I certainly didn’t ask for or in my mind even deserve. No luck.
I tried going back to the church where I was saved once a week. Calvary Chapel in Costa Mesa is the church Chuck Smith leads. The Jesus movement had roots there. God moved in huge ways. Certainly He would be there in abundance for me. I’d attend service and hit the afterglow where miracles took place. No luck.
I bought programs through the mail that focus on my illness. Many people see great results and even get better through these programs. But you gotta work hard at it. I didn’t want to work at it because I shouldn’t have to. I was an innocent victim and God was supposed to fix me. No luck.
How about waiting for your birthday and Christmas each year? Maybe God would give me my gift then? No luck.
How about dismissing God from the job and fix things yourself? I did that in spades. No luck.
I use the word luck because my solutions were just that, my solutions. And since I was this close to seeing an palm reader luck was about all I had working for me. Or so I thought.
The fact of the matter is that God never says “oops.” He’s perfect. He is not capable of making a mistake. Never has and never will. For the purpose of this article when you are visited by a mental illness the reality is there will be some very tough and rocky roads awaiting you. God will seem to have left you all alone because you were His mistake and He’s busy with the “real” Christians. Hope fades quickly. The desire to live wanes at times. Suicide seems reasonable as the pain is so great.
How I wish I could give each of us that quick fix so the suffering would end. I can’t and neither can anyone else. But God has placed people in the body who honestly care and want to help. But they can’t wave a wand and make everything okay. But they may very well be the vehicle God has chosen to work through to see His perfect will done in your life.
Mark 4:35 On that day, when evening had come, he said to them, “Let us go across to the other side.”
Mark 4:36 And leaving the crowd, they took him with them in the boat, just as he was. And other boats were with him.
Mark 4:37 And a great windstorm arose, and the waves were breaking into the boat, so that the boat was already filling.
Mark 4:38 But he was in the stern, asleep on the cushion. And they woke him and said to him, “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?”
Mark 4:39 And he awoke and rebuked the wind and said to the sea, “Peace! Be still!” And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.
Mark 4:40 He said to them, “Why are you so afraid? Have you still no faith?”
Mark 4:41 And they were filled with great fear and said to one another, “Who then is this, that even wind and sea obey him?”
Here we have the disciples with Jesus. They had witnessed many great miracles. Jesus had said they were going to the other side. But a huge storm hit and the boat was about to go down. They were frightened and pretty much scolded Jesus as they made Him aware of their plight. Their faith was still quite small even in light of what they had already witnessed. These men were works in progress!
As we read on Jesus doesn’t chew them out and make them go to bed with no dinner. He shared the Beatitudes! He didn’t give up on his disciples. He won’t give up on us either.
God doesn’t say “oops.” He may seem asleep but He’s got the hairs of your head counted. He sees. Your prayers don’t go unheard. Your tears don’t go unnoticed.
I don’t have the answer for anyone. I’m not qualified. What I seek to offer is hope and understanding. I offer resources to some who are qualified to help. There are others I would like to list as time goes on. Meanwhile I pray what you read here and what you look into as far as resources and information will bless you. Please don’t walk alone.
Romans 8:35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?
Romans 8:36 As it is written, “For Your sake we are killed all the day long. We are counted as sheep of slaughter.”
Romans 8:37 But in all these things we more than conquer through Him who loved us.
Romans 8:38 For I am persuaded that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
Romans 8:39 nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Filed under: Anorexia, Bipolar Disorder, Bulimia, Christian Counseling, Christianity, Depression, Grief, Mental Illness, Prayer, Psychotherapy
What a wonderful site! I can’t even remember how I found it. I don’t suffer from mental illness, but as a woman who is a breast cancer survivor and who is taking Aromasin (estrogen blocker) I do have my “psychotic days”. Ask any woman who is losing estrogen. For those “nay sayers” who don’t believe that mental illnesses exists, I pray that God will take them down a notch or two; they need to be as King David said “afflicted that I might learn thy statutes”. Thank you for using God’s Word at the end of this article, the greatest healer in the world; especially about nothing separating us from the love of God. I learned about this portion of scripture a long time ago and reread it over and over to remind myself that “NOTHING SHALL SEPARATE US FROM THE LOVE OF GOD”! Thank You for yielding to the Holy Spirit in your suffering so that others can be comforted as the scripture teaches us.
Thanks for posting Jody. I appreciate your input greatly. I might differ a bit with you in your reference to Psalm 119 as it seems to be referring to the writer and his experiences.
Maybe by visiting a place like this or getting to know one who is suffering they might come to know the truth about mental illness.
I appreciate your kind words and feel free to drop by again. God bless! Allan
The Father is always working behind the scenes, His plan and purpose for our lives.
I’m so glad to see you drop by Okie. At times I wish I could relive the old days so as to avoid the pitfalls. The thing is that God was always at work and I was never out of His grip. The idea of pain didn’t compute with me in my idea of the faith, let alone it being God’s will for me. Praying for you and yours. When it’s time let me know when the time is right for me to contact you. No problem waiting if need be. God bless!
There is so much in this post, so I’ve bookmarked it to read it again. So much rings a bell. My wife has had rheumatoid arthritis for 37 years and 35 years ago was healed at a healing meeting, she really was. But a year later or so the illness returned with a vengeance. That started a real learning ground. Much later I was diagnosed with CFS/ME and more recently prostate cancer. We still believe in a God who heals, but came to realise that it has to be His way and the healing is of course not just physical. I had to be ’shipwrecked’ to understand that. Through it all we have learnt and expereinced God working in our lives that just perhaps many don’t?
Great article. Great writing. Great encouragement. Thanks so much. My husband and I were just this weekend discussing the episode when Jesus sent His disciple INTO a storm. We have been in a storm of sorts for several years, with no apparent answers to our many, pleading prayers…. Some days were “up”, somedays were not, and wrestle with so many of the feelings you have written about here.
Thanks again, bro. God bless you and your family.
wayfarejon, We believed my wife was healed. Her arthritis was pretty new at the time but was aggressive. She told me later that deep down she knew it wasn’t gone and that turned out to be true.
My wife has had a few surgeries for trigger finger and currently is on heavy meds. I have to imagine it’s taken a toll on your wife as well?
I have been dealing with prostate issues for a few years and was fortunate as I was just checked for prostate cancer and the test was negative. The doctor I see is one of the best in the nation and if you are in Southern California I’d suggest seeing him as he is good. Ultimately you’re in God’s hands.
So many lessons learned and still being learned. For those who have escaped suffering in their lives there is a depth to the Christian life they have yet to learn. That is not a negative for them but what we have experienced is a plus for us if we’re willing to learn.
I hope you don’t mind my asking but how did you reconcile a divine healing only to see it vanish a year later? That had to be tough. Thanks for dropping by. God bless!
Hi Paige! Thanks for the kind words. I know what trying to understand the storms in my life did to me and it wasn’t good as I was and still can be a terrible lesson learner!
One thing I have learned is none of us our immune to these times in our lives when trials come. I had figured the “elite” had it licked and the rest of us were left to deal with things.
I realize that folks I admire greatly have been or are in rough storms in their lives. It’s nice when they share their humanity with us as it offers a lot of hope and in a way beats down condemnation.
Lord willing E-Fest 4 next year?? God bless you and yours! Allan
“So many lessons learned and still being learned. For those who have escaped suffering in their lives there is a depth to the Christian life they have yet to learn. That is not a negative for them but what we have experienced is a plus for us if we’re willing to learn.”
This is a biggie for my wife and I…..we have really found that there seem to be a lot of Christians that absolutely cannot understand different levels of childhood trauma, and how they affect the adult later in life. I realize we’re all called to something different, but it really can make it hard to relate when those who haven’t suffered that way look at us with puzzled faces, and just say, ” I don’t get it – why are you like that again?”
But on the other side of that, we’ve found we’re often able to speak to and help others we’ve met that are coming through their “healing storms”.
Owen, It seems many look at 2 Corinthians 5:17 and see it as license to condemn the innocent when they are experiencing valid pain in their lives. As you stated many just don’t get it.
There are times in my life when I’m doing awesome and I forget for a spell what my life was like when experiencing so many panic attacks. So if I, who lived it, can in a sense not relate to it I can understand to a degree why some think as they do.
Hopefully as people are exposed to the truth about mental illness and the stigma that comes with it we will see more hurting people gain the courage to come and ask for help.
Meanwhile they suffer silently until a person such as yourself is there to offer the comfort and safety that I pray one day every church will extend. God bless!
“Near our front door is a beam that runs at an angle up to the roof. If you happen to be in the little garden area where it’s located you want to be aware of its presence. So many times I’ve been in that garden area busy with something and as I’m walking out…. BAM!! ”
My wife and I were just in that garden ripping and cutting stuff out. I was leaning over and as I got up to move…… BAM!! It hurt like the dickens. Then I thought about this article.
Erunner= Slow learner!