The Shah family of Millstone Township — Shrabanee (from left), Arjun, Pradeep and Lipica — are shown at Arjun’s graduation from Collier High School at Wickatunk. At age 7, Arjun, now 20, began exhibiting what his mother described as unusual behavorial signs. More than seven years later, he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. (PHOTO COURTESY SHAH FAMILY)
More than seven years had elapsed from the time Arjun Shah’s family first noticed his symptoms until he was accurately diagnosed.
“”My son began demonstrating unusual signs at 7 years old, and I thought it was bad-boy behavior,” said his mother, Shrabanee, of Millstone Township. “”I did some horrible things because I didn’t know.”
Neither did his doctors. Shrabanee and her husband, Pradeep, struggled with a stream of labels for Arjun such as OCD, ADHD, split personality and suicidal disorders. At one time, psychiatrists had prescribed eight different medications.
“”He was like a walking zombie,” Shrabanee said.
Still, nothing seemed to help until the couple attended some NAMI-NJ (National Alliance on Mental Illness) classes recommended by a friend.
“”When I took my first class, I started to learn how the brain works. And when I heard the others talking, I recognized what we were dealing with, the mood swings and behaviors,” Shrabanee said.
Soon after, Arjun had a new psychiatrist who reduced his medications — he’s now down to just one — and a diagnosis, at age 15, of bipolar disorder.
The Shahs joined NAMI’s Visions for Tomorrow (now called NAMI Basics) classes and subsequently the organization’s 12-week Family-to-Family sessions. Today, the couple are educators and facilitators for several of the nonprofit agency’s programs.
“”Mental illness is so misunderstood. It’s heart wrenching,” Shrabanee said. Yet, it’s “”not a death sentence. It doesn’t need to take your life away if you’re given understanding, education and support, without the stigma.”
That stigma is lessened, she added, when people realize that the brain is just a part of the body and has “”a right to get sick,” just like any other part.
And stereotyping based on the family’s Indian heritage created another stumbling block for the Shahs.
“”You look to the doctors for support and they say, this can’t be, because multicultural people are supposed to be top-notch. You’re supposed to be doctors and engineers, and your children are supposed to be brilliant, A students,” Shrabanee said.
“”But it has nothing to do with environment, culture or race. I regret how long I lived with the guilt, feeling this was my fault.”
The NAMI education gave the Shahs the tools to manage life with mental illness, Shrabanee said, even as Arjun continued to experience a series of crises. “”He was grandiose, suicidal; I was constantly walking on eggshells. As caregivers, we go into panic mode.”
And excessive anxiety can lead to physical ailments, Shrabanee added. She developed a peptic ulcer.
“”I was extremely nervous and jittery because I didn’t know how to react. But you can learn to deal with this. Now I can stay calm, stay focused, and most important, take a deep breath before doing anything.”
Arjun, who turns 21 this summer, is an Eagle Scout and a sponsored skateboarder. With his illness stabilized, he attended some community college classes and worked until recently at a department store.
“”I have hope he will lead an independent life someday,” his mother said. “”But it doesn’t happen overnight.”
NAMI’s slogan, and her own personal mantra, she said, is “”don’t give up hope.”
The family, including Arjun’s sister, Lipica, currently a student at New York University, also participated in NAMI’s South Asian Mental Health Association of Jersey (SAMHAJ), one of four culturally specific support groups organized by the agency.
“”It’s most beneficial when you walk into a room full of other people familiar with your culture, your language, suffering from the same thing. You feel like you’re among family. To be guided by people with similar backgrounds is a
gift,” Shrabanee said.
Pradeep and Shrabanee now facilitate the group. The couple also created an alumni program for NAMI families to meet once a month at a potluck breakfast.
“”It’s a wonderful way to stay connected, to vent, to share, to come back and bring in new information for the group,” Shrabanee said. The Shahs say their goal is to give back, to encourage other families dealing with mental illness.
“”People are hiding this in their homes and getting worse every day. They need to come out and acknowledge it,” Shrabanee said. “”I believe early intervention is crucial because we didn’t have it.”
Filed under: Bipolar Disorder, Christian Counseling, Christianity, Depression, Medication, Mental Illness, Psychotherapy | Leave a Comment »

In saying that I am compelled to also say the cruelest thing anyone could say to a Christian with a mental illness is that they are inhabited by a demon. The idea is laughable yet some believe it. Bob Larson makes a living through his exorcism and deliverance ministry. His website can be found by clicking 




Editor’s note: Theodore Beauchaine is the Robert Bolles and Yasuko Endo Associate Professor of Psychology at the University of Washington, where he is also director of the Child and Adolescent Adjustment Project. He is editor of “Child and Adolescent Psychopathology,” associate editor of the journal “Psychophysiology” and a contributing author to the upcoming “Oxford Handbook of Suicide and Self-injury.” 